Understanding Executive Functioning Skills and how Interactive Metronome can help
“He comes home from school and wants to shut himself away in his room. He won’t talk, refuses to do his homework, and won’t even eat properly. The school says he is fine, top of his class, so I don’t understand what is happening.”
This was a mother describing her 10-year-old son’s after-school behaviour with a mix of frustration and deep concern. Her son has a condition of AuADHD, a combination of autism and ADHD. His academic performance was not a concern; he just behaved entirely differently at school and home. She just did not understand the reason for his “bad behaviour,” at home, yet at school he was clearly fine.
When I explained from her son’s perspective the penny finally dropped. She began to understand better her child's needs: what looked like shutting himself off from the family and not cooperating, was actually his nervous system trying desperately to recover from being completely overwhelmed.
“ At school, these children are in survival mode, masking their struggles to appear like everyone else.”
The hidden exhaustion of school life
Many parents with children with neurodivergent conditions, such as AuADHD don’t always appreciate that every single moment at school requires immense effort. The fluorescent lights that most people barely notice are a great source of discomfort for their sensory systems. The noise in the classroom may feel as loud as a rock concert to them. The unspoken social rules everyone else just gets is a foreign language. These children are consciously calculating every interaction whilst also trying to learn and digest information
At school, these children are in survival mode, masking their struggles to appear like everyone else. They are managing anxiety whilst their brains work overtime to navigate an environment that does not accommodate their needs.
“ His reserves were completely depleted after seven hours of regulation in an overwhelming environment. ”
The executive functioning connection
Executive functions are the cognitive tools that enable us to control attention and behaviour in pursuit of a goal. For those with AuADHD at the heart of these cognitive struggles are executive functioning skills; the brain’s management system that helps us plan, organise, remember information, manage emotions, and make decisions. These include working memory, inhibitory control, cognitive flexibility, planning, attention regulation, and emotional control.
Children with ADHD, autism, and AuADHD, when tested, show weakness in executive functioning skills. Whilst those with ADHD primarily struggle with sustained attention, impulse control, and working memory. Children on the Autism Spectrum show more generalised impairments, particularly with cognitive flexibility, the ability to adapt when circumstances change. For children with AuADHD, these challenges combine.
That mother’s son wasn’t being difficult when he came home. His reserves were completely depleted after seven hours of regulation in an overwhelming environment.
What are executive functioning skills - a deep dive
When parents don’t understand their child’s struggles, they often unknowingly add more pressure. They might say, “You were fine at school, why can’t you just do your homework?” or sign them up for more activities, thinking, “Piano lessons will be good for you!” Each new demand asks a child who is already depleted at every possible level to dig deeper still. What they really need is some respite.
“Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.”
What your child needs first
Children with AuADHD need nervous system recovery time: permission to be non-verbal, a quiet low-sensory environment, no demands or expectations, and time to exist without having to mask.
That mother stopped fighting her son’s need to withdraw. She created a recovery space with quiet activities and no expectations. Whilst this did not meet all his needs in terms of his sensory overload and self-regulation, things changed. Within two weeks, once his nervous system was calmer it appeared he stopped being in constant crisis mode, he actually started engaging more in the evenings, not because she pushed him to, but because he finally had the capacity to.
Strengthening the foundation: Interactive Metronome
But there is more we can do in addition to nurturing self-regulatory skills. We can strengthen the neural systems underlying executive functioning within the brain. A dual approach is far more effective.
At Raviv Practice London we use Interactive Metronome (IM) is a computer-based training programme that improves timing, rhythm, and coordination. Children synchronise hand and foot exercises to a precise computer-generated beat, receiving immediate feedback on their timing accuracy in milliseconds.
IM training improves connectivity between the brain's different regions and increases neural processing speed, particularly enhancing the parietal-frontal brain network, the network most associated with controlled attention, executive functions, and working memory.
Studies have shown improvements in motor coordination, reading fluency and comprehension, speech and language timing, and emotional regulation. IM training appears to improve communication between brain regions, enabling different parts to work together more effectively. There is substantial increase in the speed at which the child thinks and does things.
For an overwhelmed child who is juggling sensory, cognitive and emotional demands IM allows a perception of more time, and as a result there is less defensive or reactive behaviour.
A complete approach
If your child comes home from school and shuts down, they’re showing you exactly what their nervous system needs. The kindest thing you can do is listen and provide recovery time without demands.
But understanding is only the first step. At Raviv Practice London, we combine nervous system regulation approaches with interventions that strengthen executive functioning at its neural foundation. When we pair recovery time with targeted training like Interactive Metronome, Reflex Integration Therapy, and the Safe and Sound Protocol, we create meaningful, lasting change.
The goal isn’t to fix your child but to provide them with the neural infrastructure to develop skills they are currently missing. With correct foundations in place, they unlock the ability to think and regulate themselves better throughout the day so as to prevent the end-of-day burnout.
If wish to discuss concerns about your child book your free consultation at: www.ravivpracticelondon.co.uk/book-consultation
Dyslexia? Dyspraxia? ADHD? ASD? Speech & Language? Developmental Delay? Anxiety?
Is every school day a struggle? As a parent, you may feel exhausted and on this journey alone. Each year you see the gap getting wider. You need to do something - change the approach, help your child learn for themselves, find a way to turn this around - to help while you can - do this NOW. the first step is free.
About the Author
Usha Patel is a Neurocognitive Therapist and Director at Raviv Practice London. Parents searching to help their suspected/neurodiverse child can get evidence-based solutions with results in as little as 8 weeks. Those in search of jargon-free help can get started straight away.
